I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
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