So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
