I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Randomize
