I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
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