Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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