What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
