i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
