Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
