Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i dont even know how to be here
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
