the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
