FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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