do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
