He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
