i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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