You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm just crazy horny about you
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
