My hand turned me down
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
