I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
