I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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