Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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