I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I met the friendliest cop last night
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
