if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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