i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
