Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
