Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Dignity is for republicans.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
