ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
