ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
