I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
The best revenge is premature balding
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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