I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
