Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
