shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
