Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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