We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
