I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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