these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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