This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
