It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
