sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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