what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
