I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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