this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
