and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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