ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
