I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
