You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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