So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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