You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
