A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
