You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
