even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
