Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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