BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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