i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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